A Decision and Its Impact

Major Paper One: A Decision and Its Impact We’ve all made decisions in our lives that have had lasting impact: decisions concerning educational and career goals, relationships, even about our own sense of personal integrity. These decisions shape our lives, so they are a perfect topic to explore in writing. Your task for Paper One, the first of your four major papers this semester, will be to write an essay about such a decision, to explain it to your readers so that they too will understand how much it affected you. By its very definition, an essay will have a central purpose (or message) and you will explain that purpose with plenty of supporting detail (development) to help engage your readers, and a thoughtful pattern of organization to help readers follow along easily. There is no “formula” for that; you’ll need to think about your reader (audience) as you write to make it as reader-friendly as possible. We don’t want our readers to have to work too hard to get our message, so we focus, organize, and develop with them in mind. And we usually want to give them an enjoyable experience while we’re at it. Your essay should be at least two full pages in MLA format (i.e. one inch margins all around, 12 point standard font, double-spaced). You’ll find an example of MLA format in Blackboard Handouts section. Due dates: 9/17 Working drafts due for peer response. Bring four hard copies for peer response. You can print in class, but please do so before class begins. 9/24 Submitted draft due , along with the peer review sheets and revision plans. When I respond to submitted drafts, I will address the following aspects of your papers: • Purpose: Does the paper have a definite sense of purpose or message for the reader? Does it remain focused on this purpose throughout? • Development: Are there enough details to get the message (purpose!) across – or will readers have to fill in gaps for themselves? Are all the details meaningful? Purposeful? • Organization: Does the structural set-up of the paper allow readers to follow along easily? Does the set-up make the purpose come across with maximum effect? • Voice/tone: Is the voice of the paper authentic? Is the tone appropriate for the purpose and audience? • Style: Is the writing clear? Is it punctuated so that readers will be able to read it easily? Is the grammar and spelling correct, so that readers are not distracted by the “mistakes” and can concentrate on the message and the details? A note about details: It isn’t enough just to “add detail.” You have to include purposeful details, such as “meaningful examples, reasons, details, descriptions, anecdotes, evidence” (quote taken from official SWIC Course Outline). Monica Hatch 22 November 2015 Straightening My Path Did you ever just wanted to start over? Wish that the wrong decisions you did in the past never happened? Whenever I look in the mirror, that`s what I really think about. Don`t get me wrong, there are some things that I am proud to consider myself as. Kindhearted, funny, weird and so forth. I can honestly say that my personality is a bundle joy on the outside, but in the inside, I have trouble accepting who I really may be. That one thing I hate to admit to myself and even hard to come to realization. What is it, you may ask? It`s my attractions towards men. In other words, I Am Gay. It`s a desire that I acted on for years now and struggle to corporate with. I believe it`s about that time to finally come to a choice between my religions beliefs and the people beliefs on how I should live my “gay” life. When I was a little boy, I always felt a certain way towards boys. At a young age, between about 7 and 14, I didn`t really know how or why exact I was developing theses feelings. I remember that I use to do some things that I didn`t see as a problem. Like looking at my friends and even some of my relatives in a erotic way. At that time, I didn`t know how to control those feelings. Not only that, I had a hard time controlling my “gay moments”. For example, when I was about, I am going to guess 12, I caught myself dancing to a cheerleading movie called “Bring It On”. Shockingly, my dad caught me in the act and told me to stop because that “boys don`t do that.” I stopped immediately and went on with my business. At that time, I wasn`t really thinking if it was a girl thing or not, it was just a reaction I couldn`t resist.. There were a couple things I done that I got called out on. Like letting my friend put nail polish on my fingers, constantly prepping, and even talking to other men online. I feel as now, most of those things I done in the past are under control. That`s what I would like to think, but then again I have my moments. I can`t really sum up my childhood to be honest. I just know, I was just starting to develop my sexual attractions and gestures in a uncontrollable way. As I got older, I made some decisions that I am not proud of. Decisions that I regret. Most of those decisions involved me having sex with guys. To be honest, I feel as if all I ever wanted really was just sex. That got think me thinking, if most gay male just think about sex. I didn`t really believe that was so until I got more involve with men. I downloaded a gay chat app called Grindr because wanted to meet new people and hookup as well. There were a ton of guys dying to hookup with someone. Including myself. As I got more into the app and talking to people, I decided to actually meet someone in person and hookup. I wasn`t really thinking of what could possibly happen to me but I took and risk and went along with them. Most of the guys I ever met up with were cool and someone were just weird but I was there for one thing. Sex! I made sure that I was protected but most guys rather not. I went to clinics where I got checked up for anything bad. Which by the way, all came out negative. But there was a time last year in school where I got in involve with a guy that I basically threw myself to and caught something. It was a disease with side effects that were painful. I end up going to the clinic and found out that I had gonorrhea. I was freaking out until I found out it was curable. I was relief and got me to the point of my life where I need to stop fooling around. The selfish part of me was thinking to stay safe more often. I really need to quit having sex with anyone and just focus on me. Then I got myself in a world of pain a drama when I wasn`t being careful. I was threaten, heartbroken, depressed and much more. I was time for a change!! I decided to go to different groups, therapist, friends, family and even church for advice. I learned that my feelings towards men, distract me for what I need to accomplish in life (therapist). I need to look away from the people that try to get me involve on the wrong things (church). Don`t let people take advantage of my nice personalty (family and groups). I took all of that too consideration and trying to get on the right track. As I was talking to some my friends that may understand about me changing my life around, they suggested that I should tell my family about my sexuality. They kept saying that they already know. I wanted to but I feel that if I were to do that, the more I believe it`s true and the more they will assume or expect of me. That`s something I don`t want to go through. I don`t to live a life of that I find uncomfortable for my soul. Some or most people believe it shouldn`t be a struggle to be gay. That God will love and forgive me no matter what or that its not a sin. I truly believe in the grace of God that he will heal me and guide to the right path. That`s only if I mean it and really want to get closer to God. I am not the kind of person that hate on other people because your religion, race, or anything else. I accept everyone for who they are but when it comes to accepting myself, that`s something I have trouble handling. I am on the process right now trying to get closer to God and fighting my feelings towards men away from me. Being my first year at college. I talked with a couple of people with great advice and opinions on certain thing, that I find interesting. I am not truly convince yet but hopefully I will have the right answer and my struggle will be over. My goal is to focus of my future and getting closer to God. I believe he has all the answers. Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.